walking a drunk friend like
opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples
everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant
But all you ever see are men’s
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco… they have concrete walls… years of foods and supplies… and best of all the zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership card
once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
Gordo: setting the bar impossibly high for men since 2000
It’s 10 am and I’m still laying in bed, I forgot how nice it is to sleep in. Not everyday has to be a hustle.
make your parents proud, enemies jealous and yourself satisfied
Animals that are patiently awesome.